Okay!! Finally I have decided to blog on an actual topic… If you let your imagination run wild when you saw the topic and that is the sole reason that you are reading this, very sarry I am not responsible for all that..
I have been wanting to blog on how marriages happen, the cost, the waste (hey that rhymes!!), etc for a few months now.. Today also I am tired and sleepy.. But I couldnt bear to write some mokka again today.. So here goes..
Firstly I have not liked attending marriages when I was young(er).. Because of this thozhi ponnu concept.. Oru chinna innocent kozhandhaya paatha udane, “Vaama kanna poi andha akka pakathula ukkandhuko, odu odu”.. Naansense.. Yaaruko kalyaanam aagarthuku naa yen smoke ku nadula kashta pattu ukaaranum? Ore kannellam eriyum.. Ore tears.. Mandharam laam puriyaadhu (ippo verikam puriyala).. Bore adikudhe nu kannathula kai vechi ukaandha once my dad’s maama said, “Kazhudha adi vaanguva, kannathulendhu kai edu!!”.. Enna koduma sir idhu..
The jewellery!! Earrings bigger than my ears.. Kashta pattu potu kaadhulendhu rathame varum.. Yen ipdilam? apdinu engamma va paathu keka mudiyadhu… “Gold potruka, jaakardhaya iru”, “Ennama kozhandhaiku ivlo naga potruka, un pakathulaye vechiko”, etc etc from all the aunties and paatis.. Aaarggghhh!!!
This pattu paavada chattai was another pain.. Paavaadai will be very long.. Once I tripped on the stairs and fell.. Someone saw me fall and helped me up.. I was so scared and it was a big fall.. My head was spinning.. All I could realise was that my grandmom was dragging me to my mother to tell her that I fell.. Literal dragging.. Someone gave me water.. Naa edho viddha kaatra maari people were around me.. Yen ma paathu poga koodadha?? Buddhiye illa unaku.. (I was too young to talk back) Some were visibly happy that I fell (haiyo haiyo), a few pretended to feel bad (haiyo haiyo haiyo), a couple of ppl genuinely felt bad (idhula orthar than thanni kuduthaanga).. It is unbelievable.. But since then I have been scared of descending on the stairs.. I am always extra cautious when getting down.. I know, no comments..
I hated make-up.. These ladies who will be in their kalyana age have this pleasure in dressing up kids.. Naa ketena?? They will sit and appify lipstick on all the innocent kids.. Compact, eye shadow, mascara, mannangatti nu ore ragalai.. I was a victim as always.. “Unga ponnu evlo azhaga iruka??”, they tell my mom.. Poi nu enakum theriyum.. I just used to sit there and stare at their dumb faces.. Torture..
Okay, so this WAS my aversion towards marriages for various small reasons.. I was not thinking about how much the bride’s father spent on the wedding and all.. But now at this age, I ponder a lot about it.. So here comes the cost and the waste:
NO OFFENCE TO ANYONE WHO HAS CONDUCTED A MARRIAGE OR ANYONE WHO PLANS TO CONDUCT ONE.. I UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS SENSITIVE AND IT GIVES SATISFACTION.. I ALSO UNDERSTAND THAT CERTAIN SAMBRADHAAYAMS HAVE TO HAPPEN IN A PROPER WAY.. But this is only my opinion, in the lighter sense.. So please dont sabichify me.. Enaku innum kalyaaname aagala
Stage: I find it difficult to understand the amount of money spent on stage decoration.. It is almost equal to the wedding hall rent.. Keta real flowers, adhanaala costly.. For it to last for a day, lakhs of money are spent.. And the latest I heard was that the bride and groom dresses should match with the stage background or vice versa.. Mudiyala..
Varaverpu: This was actually new to me.. Saw it recently at a friend’s wedding.. The groom to be arrives at the wedding hall and the bride to be has a bouquet (i am unaware of the exact cost of the bouquet but am sure it is expensive) to give him.. Idhu varaverpu.. Idhuku the bride to be (Hereinafter referred to as BTB, type panna mudiyala) had to go to the parlour and get her make-up and hair done and a special saree for the varaverpu too.. And everything is supposed to happen during the good times of the day.. So rushing up and down.. Poor BTB.. And if the make-up is messed up, it affects the confidence levels of the BTB so badly.. Genuine, I guess..
Sarees: Ethana podava.. Oh my God.. BTBs have so much patience to change sarees so many times.. Varaverpu, engagement, maamiyaar veetu saree, reception, nalangu, wedding.. And everytime jewellery has to be changed.. Including the two dozen bangles on each hand.. I was shocked to see that the BTB had to go to the parlour every time there was a saree change required and every time the hair do was changed.. The odyaanams, kedayams, vangis, haarams, maatals, jimukis…… Enaku type pannave moochu vaangudhu.. Imagine the BTB..
Food: Food is something that is very important in a wedding (any function for that matter).. Even if the wedding is perfect, a small mistake in the food will spoil the whole thing.. People already will be mennufying in their empty mouths.. If they find out something wrong with the food, mudinjudhu joli.. One part I am not comfortable in the food at weddings is the small plastic water bottles.. Disposal of those bottles is not done properly and it obviously costs a lot.. Disposable paper cups vechi fill panlaame.. Easier to dispose and clean the place.. And those bottles aren’t all that convenient.. Most people struggle to break open the seal.. Dont think that’s me, I have never had trouble doing that..
And yes food wastage is another bad element.. One reason I hate eating at weddings.. Most of the time we are asked to sit at places where the food has already been served.. Many caterers do not have the habit of asking before serving.. I do waste food in such occasions.. I really try my best not to..
Maalai: Jothika maalai, jayam ravi maalai, etc.. The lighter the weight, the more expensive it is.. Illana oru kattai vechi rendu pakkam thermocol poo vechi kazhuthu odayara alavaku they give these heavy maalais.. Adha potutu you have to fall on elders’ feet and all.. Very important, you should never complain.. Once in a lifetime marriage.. Aayiram kaalathu payir.. I also advice my impatient friends not to complain about these things during the wedding because a lot of pain and effort is gone through, all said and done..
Photographer: Kalyaanathula maximum thittu, saabam ivaruku than.. Ipdi nillunga apdi nillunga, side a paarunga, nera paarunga….. Vizhundhu porandu usura kuduthu photo edupaar.. Unga usurayum paadhi eduthuduvaar.. The mangala vaadhyam timing and the saangyam timing rendum ore non-sync a irukum.. All thanks to the padam pudikaravar.. Make-up tips laam kuda he will give.. Ya there are professional photographers who can manage to take photos without disturbing anyone.. Exceptions!!
Light Music: Many prefer soft instrumentals nowadays so that it doesn’t make conversing difficult.. But in earlier days it used to be this loud music and you cant here what the other person is talking..
Nalangu: Smearing of the sandhanam on their faces will show the amount of love and hatred people have for the bride and groom.. And I somehow find it funny when there will be a kid standing right next to the bride and the moment sandhanam is applied on the bride’s face, she wipes it off.. ???? Enna logic?
Lot more side headings that I cant remember at the moment..
A wedding is something that gives happiness to two families (supposedly).. But I have found it missing in weddings nowadays.. People are not happy.. Some spend a lot and make it a grand wedding just for the sake of prestige.. Yes, there are genuine people who are interested in giving their kids a good wedding.. The ore ponnu, ore paiyan people are particular.. But I guess the expenditure on weddings is increasing at an alarming rate and it results in huge amount of wastage – electricity, water, food, plastic disposal, etc..
I have also seen people who spend reasonably and yet have a great wedding.. People have started to get married in temples and have a small reception.. It saves a lot of cost and time..
Is there a good part? Yes there definitely is.. I think it will be fair to see both sides.. A lot of people like the naadhaswaram people, mike set people, flower decorators, beautician, saree wallahs, caterers, yeah the wedding planners, flowers and maalai sellers, oh yes the progidhars, marriage hall owners, etc etc make a living because of marriages.. Employment opportunities.. But if that’s done with reduced wastage, guess it should be great..
Am not against weddings or grand weddings.. I personally would prefer a marriage at a registrar office with just family and a few well wishers.. But individual perceptions will differ.. My own parents’ perception differs.. Cant conclude that it is right or wrong, but reducing of wastage of food and the plastic bottles is something that I cant stop thinking over.. Yup, eco friendly weddings where the thamboolam is given in recycled paper bags do happen.. It is nice to see more and more people move towards these kinda weddings.. Kudos!!
1. More than an hour conversation with my best friend.. Good fun.. We spoke after a long time
2. Amitabh is going to become a dada.. Thamizh dad illa, hindi dada.. His twitter account seemed flooded with wishes Someone tweeted: Big B, Wanna B and now Bay B..
3. Booby ganesan poi ippo kungumapoo bonda..
4. Attended a baby shower today.. Was nice to meet my college mates after a long time.. I saw a lady and I knew that I knew her well.. But for that minute I could not place her.. I said Hi and gave her a wide smile.. My friend Sowmya was standing next to me.. I asked her, “Yaaru di andha ponnu, romba familiar a iruka?”.. She says, “Adi paavi adhu ennoda anni di”.. It was real embarassing.. She had a hearty laugh.. I told her anni and said that she looked far younger.. Vera epdi thappikardhu..
5. Went to office straight from the baby shower function.. Someone said I looked very nice and I have to come to office like this everyday.. (Idhu lam romba over: this is not your mind voice, this was my mind voice).. I smiled..
Loooooooooong blog.. Take care people.. The next few days will be topic less mokkai.. Until my next blog